*Content Warning: Sensitive material in the words of the presenter, Shane Martinez (includes details regarding sexual violence and substance abuse)*

I was born in 1971 to two parents who gave me all the love and caring a child could want. At ages 5 - 8, I was sexually abused by a male babysitter, and I not only thought it was normal but was groomed not to tell anyone. By the time I was in my early teens, I was a very angry and rebellious teen. I started smoking pot and drinking on the weekends which then graduated to heavier drugs over time. By the time I was in high school, I was doing acid, shrooms and crank, which I began selling at school to support my habit. By the time I was 18, I went to jail and entered my first rehab. The next 15 years were spent in drugs, jails, rehabs, homelessness and hospitals. I could not stay clean and I couldn’t keep from staying out of trouble. I had my daughter at 30 and thought that was going to be what kept me on track but the guilt, shame and trauma didn't stop and couldn’t be in her life. I then got into some trouble and was sentenced to a long-term religious-based program and for the first time I got my feet on the ground and did well for some time. I started my own company, I bought a house and had my daughter in my life. Things were well until I fell off a roof and hurt my back. Like many others, I got addicted to the pills and that led to heroin, which again led to prison. I did eight years in the feds that time and when I came out, all the trauma from the early years had compiled. I was at the halfway house where I learned to break the chains and build bonds. There,I started the 8-week course and for the first time so many things started to make sense about the trauma, the abuse, the addiction and PTSD and I was given tools to combat these things. I am grateful for BCBB and now I am a facilitator for the 8-week course I went through.